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But when she turns to look out over the crowd, I see her brown eyes and bright warm smile. She's pretty to the point of intimidation, but, importantly, I do not look away. I'm not sure if any of us can recognize real, lasting love the first time we meet somebody, but there a few things that help a man decide if a first meeting needs to turn into a first date.
Though it can be difficult (trust me, I understand), assume you are an awesome, quality person. It's about not feeling insecure, not laughing too often and too long at what is not funny enough and not agreeing too fast and repeatedly before any actual points or ideas are fully expressed. Every online profile, every random dater, every TV single person all say they want the same thing in a mate: a sense of humor. But the pressure to be funny, when mixed with a healthy dose of nerves, means that conversations easily veer into banter. Sincerity is milk chocolate; sarcasm is a grapefruit.
Because when you're busy thinking about all your possible flaws and faults, you might end up sounding like this: "Yeah, totally, haha, yeah, haha, totally, yeah. But banter often flips directly into sarcasm and making jokes at your date's expense. In the past, I was deeply in love with a woman who never tried to make jokes. Next: The one thing that drives up the romantic tension like you would not believe I'll admit it.
Haha." If you take your awesomeness as a given, you can focus on finding out what is awesome about the guy you just met. Not that she never laughed (I still miss her laugh), but she just didn't feel the need to be constantly funny. During encounters past, I had the habit of mentally inviting along some of my friends, who took a seat on the discussion panel, right there in my head.
I knew she was testing me to see if I was cheap or if I'd spend it on her. All I ask is for my date—and for myself—to show up mentally unaccompanied, so we can both spend the whole night discovering what exactly we do like about each other.
Before I turned 30, I registered words and concepts, but I hadn't yet learned how to truly focus when a woman was speaking, how to stop my brain from shuffling through other thoughts like: Where should we go after dinner? How is this date going—maybe I shouldn't have ridiculed people who are overly enthusiastic about yogurt?
My mind used to whir like a power drill, boring for the next topic, and I couldn't hear anything over that metal-on-metal thought grinding.
But now (and...is something I still have to remind myself to implement), if I just take a damn moment to focus... I can clear my mind and let it be refilled by the words of the woman I am speaking with.
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But when she commits to honest-to-God listening, I can feel her eyes on my lips, the way her expression reacts softly to every word I'm saying—and that drives up the romantic tension like you would not believe. Women who know what they want in life, women who are actively trying to get it—there is nothing sexier than that, because nothing sounds more enticing coming out of a woman's mouth than something she feels passionate about.
Even with a jug band playing, there is one thing I love to hear from a woman. And if she is insanely passionate about what she does, then we'll understand each other, because I'm also insanely passionate about what I do.
And finding a woman with the ability to inspire me is exactly what I am looking for.
That, and a woman with the keys to a 2003 Ford Focus.Überlegen Sie sich genau, wem Sie Ihre Telefonnummer, private E-Mail-Adresse oder Skype-Namen geben. DE ist Ihre Privatsphäre geschützt und Sie bestimmen, wann was passiert.2.