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22-Sep-2017 23:30

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Avid Life Media, the site’s parent company, is yet to announce a course of action.A spokesperson declined to comment, but instead pointed me to a press release which stated: “At this time, we have been able to secure our sites. After a few dead-end conversations, a flashing box invites me to “call collect” with a user.One is old enough to be my mother and has a username that, without giving too much away, is an instruction to engage part of my mouth with a baked good she has in her possession.

“Being the nice guy I am, I offered to stick around,” he tells me.Browsing through the website’s members’ pages, I see about 18,760 men in London aged 40-49 signed up to the site, compared with 4,730 women in the same age range. Some advertise themselves as religious; most are older men who know they are out of my preferred age range, but “just want to say hi anyway”.It’s no wonder I’m being hounded as one of just 30 women under 30 years old with an active account – the ones messaging me know it too, trying to attract my attention with openers such as “pick me! Of course there are explicit messages but most are polite, friendly – verging on begging letters.Priming myself not to lie or deceive, I set up a profile.

I hit the first hurdle when both usernames Naughty Boy88 and Naughty Boy1988 are taken.

I’m also dismayed to find that Naughty Boy69 is also unavailable. Two hours later my inbox is still ringing hollow – not a single response.

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